Conspiracy theory as pop-culture.
I'm feeling a little farklemt.
Free dessert with your next order*Hi Thad,
Because saving sure beats cooking.
Thanks for ordering from us. Here's a coupon for free dessert* with your next order. Don't want dessert? That's cool. Have some wings, or cheese fries, or whatever your stomach (heart) desires. Just enter this Coupon Code at check out and we'll knock $5 off your total.
Place an Order Now!
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|* You have to be an Eat24 member to use this $5 Coupon Code. (Chill. It's not like joining the Illuminati, or anything. It takes about two seconds.) OK, more rules: You can only use coupons at... wait for it... wait for it...restaurants that accept Coupon Codes. (There are about 20,000 of them. Again, chill.) and pay with Credit Card or PayPal. The value of the coupon is applied when you complete an order of $10 or more. Apparently, there is some sort of problem with people ordering less than $10 worth of food. What do they order? A can of soda? They can't get up and get a soda? Wow. That is ninja-level laziness. Now, you know we respect that, but we still have to tell you the coupon won't work unless you order at least $10. (Rules, brah. Just another example of The Man, trying to keep you down. Our advice is to order a bunch of dessert. It always comes in handy.) OK, last rule: You can only use the code once, duh. And it expires in 30 days at midnight PST unless stated otherwise. There. That's it. You're done. Probably worked up an appetite reading this, didn't you? That was our evil genius plan all along.|